To Begin All Over Again
“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”
I fell asleep at 7:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. My husband and two boys were away on a weekend hunting trip and I’m guessing my early retirement was in some way inspired by the cooler temperatures outside, encouraging me to settle into bed under a warm blanket.
As I began to read the new book that I had been anxiously waiting to dive into, it was exactly two pages in that I found I could barely keep my eyes open. I fell asleep in my winter robe. In rebellion, I wasn’t about to turn the heat on even though it would have been justified.
When we bought our home, the previous owner, who had raised a family of his own here for over thirty seven years, remarked that its rock and plaster construction made it fireproof. That may or may not be true, but with century old windows this house is miles from leak proof.
I confess that having a weekend all to myself is usually a dream come true, but a few months back we adopted a puppy and I found myself wishing they had taken him along mere seconds after they had left.
One of the last things I remember before drifting off was that puppy running full speed out of my bedroom. I completely ignored him, surprised by how easy it was to simply close my eyes.
In the morning when I woke, I slowly walked into each room of the house checking for the disaster that I was sure I would find, only to discover that everything was just as I had left it the night before. The puppy must have gotten bored without an audience to rouse him and took early to his own bed.
There’s some wisdom to be found in all of that. One obvious lesson… to just let things be every now and then.
Although 7:30 p.m. might be a tad too early, early to bed, early to rise is not just a popular saying, it’s been a necessity for me, giving my mind and body the important rest it needs in order to make it through the next day.
For me, the habit of rising early began at the birth of my second child. He would wake up at the same time every morning to nurse, long before the yellow and pink hues of the sun began to peak over the horizon. After almost a year of the same routine my internal clock just got stuck there.
Over the years though, it has been this very habit that has proven itself to be an immense blessing in my life. It has offered me the breathtaking, wide open space for earnest prayer and learning the life telling Truth found in God’s Word.
But you know, in the beginning I used to picture God as this sort of vigilant boss who stood by the punch clock every morning as I clocked in for the day, waiting on me to report for work. It is rather easy to get wrapped up in rising early as a part of some sort of religious check list.
Discipline though, if sound and sincere, wrestled about in the power of Grace, eventually builds good character that sticks.
I eventually learned that there is no clocking in to be done and there is no angry God hanging his long arm over a tired machine. There is a Friend closer to me than my next breath and a life worth living every day alongside my Savior Who’s mercies are new every morning.
We made it through the weekend, the puppy and I. I woke early Sunday morning with a renewed physical strength that had been ushered in by such an effortless surrender the night before.
I remembered once again, in the quiet motionless hours of the early morning that God is always faithful to me. I can let things be in the promising hands of Christ, surrendering again and again to His plan.